Nasty November

Geez! This is November! I never thought that the month I love the most becoming the month i HATE the most. November has never been this nasty.
3 years back there, on November 22, I was the happiest girl ever in the world. cause you know, the boy whom I love asked me to be his girl. and yeah, I said yes. I loved him so. Day by day, week by week, month by month, and year by year, we through it all. Then come a day, he looked for the another girl. She came from his past time. And he really knew that I hate her so damn much. But then again I forgave him.. I did it because I really loved him. But we both knew that our relationship's going wrong and people called it with "unhealthy relationship".
One day, on the first day of fasting month, we both argued about our problems. He said some rude words to me. Then he lied to me. He went to cinema with his friends, and with that girl....... Yeah, he cheated on me with that girl. The girl whom I hate the most for the rest of my life. Then after we argued about that thing, he left me.
Now he's in a relationship with that girl, he broke his vow "I promise I won't make a relationship with anyone. I will dealing with my education first" AND THAT ONE IS BULLSHIT!
so, jerk, if you happy with your life now, that's good. Just remember, I don't wanna know about you anymore. You have to realize that what goes around, comes around. Karma does exist, and you'll eat that one day. I PROMISE!

:)

• Me: I'm not as good as you think
• Him: you're not good. But you're great.

:')

• Q: what will you do if I punch you?
• A: I'll punch you back.
• Q: what will you do if I slap you?
• A: I'll slap you back.
• Q: what will you do if I love you?
• A: I'll say I love you too.

Definitely right

"It's better to love someone who's far and craves to be with you than to love someone who's near yet doesn't even care to see you."

60 Things You Didn't Know

60 Things You Didn't Know About Me
1) Are you bored?	ya, a little bit
2) What day is today?	wednesday, right?
3) Are you happy?	not really
4) Do you have a lot of friends?	of course I do
5) Are you close with them?	yap
6) Who do you tell everything to	Intan Aisha
7) Is that person your best friend?	best friend ever in the world!
8) Does your best friend call you their best friend	yes, she does
9) Does your best friend have other best friends?	yess
10) Do you ever fight with your best friend?	neveeeer
11) Does your best friend know everything about you?	not everything
12) Do you know everything about your best friend?	I don't know everything
13) Are your friends jealous of your best friend?	noooooo
14) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?	hmmmm
15) Do you have sex with that person?	-
16) Are you close with your boyfriend/girlfriend?	hmmmm
17) Do you want kids?	not yet
18) Do you miss being a kid?	a looooooooooot!
19) Who was the last person to call you?	Daddy
20) Who was the last person to text you?	Nikki
21) Who was the last person to comment on your myspace page?	I don't have myspace btw
22) Do you have facebook?	I do
23) Who was the last person to write on your facebook wall?	I don't remember
24) Which do you like better facebook or myspace?	facebook
25) Have you ever cheated?	I think I haven't
26) Have you ever been cheated on?	YES
27) Would you ever cheat?	NOOOO
28) Do you have any tattoos?	no, I don't
29) Do you have any piercings?	I have no piercings
30) Do you have any regrets?	yesssss
31) What are you wearing?	pajamas with oversize sweater
32) Do you have plans for the weekend?	yes I have
33) will you be with your friends this weekend?	yes
34) When was the last time you were drunk	-
35) Do you ever lie?	i do....
36) Do you enjoy sex?	-
37) How often do you have sex?	-
38) What was the last movie you watched?	a short movie "The Butterfly Circus"
39) Who was the last person to email you?	dunnoooo
40) Is that person a close friend?	I told you, I dunno
41) Would that person do anything to hurt you?	-
42) Does that person know a lot about you?	-
43) Who was the last person you talked to?	Gibral Chaerul Mi'raj
44) What did you say	"emangnya gak boleh?"
45) Do you wish you were somewhere else?	I really do
46) Are you a nice person?	I can describe myself, btw
47) Do people like you?	Idk
48) Do you have friends from out of state?	yes
49) Where do they live?	Głuchołazy, Poland.
50) Do you have friends from out of the country?	yaaap
51) Have you ever been out of the country? and if yes where?	not yet
52) Where would you like to go?	Venice
53) What song are you listening to?	Glee Cast - Defying Gravity
54) Are you getting bored of this survey?	nooo
55) Are you close with your parents?	quite close
56) What's your favorite thing to eat	spicy foods
57) Whats the thing that you hate the most to eat?	garlic
58) Do you think anyone will do this survey?	yeeees
59) Do you think 60 questions is too many to answer?	noooooo
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The Butterfly Circus

2 days ago, one of my best friend, Gibral Chaerul Mi'raj tweeted something like this, "in tears watching this truly inspiring and touching short movie 'The Butterfly Circus' there you go : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_MCwlY6zzg" so I clicked the link then I watched this short movie. And now I know that he was right.... 

I don't know exactly how to say what I feel after watched this short movie. I was deeply in tears..
This movie told me that even when we know that we're the imperfect person (from physically or/and mentally)  , we can do something to make everyone happy and feel proud of us, and we could be their inspiration. So don't give up and make a move! :)

Annoying Posts.

Hahahaha I'm laughing now. Just realized how poor am I. My previous posts are really annoying. Everybody called it with "Galau". Yes, maybe I'm one of those, but hey, this is life! Sometimes you feel happy, sometimes you feel sad. Right?

Loner

Call me a loner, yes I am. I'm one of those who can't easily trust to someone else.

...

never been this hard. I really need a shoulder to cry on, really really need as soon as possible! :((((((

:'(

Lack of sleep.
Headache attack.
Terrible mood.
Tears.

Defying Gravity

I love this song ever since I heard it from Glee Cast. But when I heard Lindsay (from The Glee Project) sang it for her last chance performance, I thought I love this song more and more. I don't know why, when I heard this I feel free, interested, and warm. I love the melody and the lyrics, too.

something has changed within me

something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

of someone else's game

too late for second-guessing

too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

close my eyes and leap

It's time to try defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity

and you won't bring me down

I'm through accepting limits

cause someone says they're so

some things I cannot change

but I'll try, I'll never know

too long I've been afraid of

losing love I guess I've lost

well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

and you won't bring me down

P.S: maybe this time I have to try defying gravity, so you won't bring me down :')

First Follower

hahaha I have one new follower. She's Nidya Putri Ihsan. I always called her with sister because she's my ex boyfriend's sister. Honestly, I'm not interested to call her older brother with "ex boyfriend" because he's still quite close to me and we're still have our times to spend together sometimes. Okay, that's just an intermezzo so, back to Nidya. I usually called her with Uti. Here she is..

she's beautiful, isn't she?

I'm quite close to her. She's very kind. I'm happy to share everything about me, my problems, my silly stories, etc. She's my good listener and she always gave me some good advices. Thanks for following this site, by the way! :p

Cameron Mitchell from The Glee Project

I can't stand how much I love The Glee Project. First time I saw this program I thought that it was really good and awesome. All of the cast are totally amazing. I love one cast, a nerd one, and he's very cute. His name is Cameron Mitchell. He's a hottest nerd I've ever seen!

Cameron Mitchell, who kind of looks like a guy version of Taylor Swift, waltzes into ‘The Glee Project‘ with his Texas-sized nerd-itude in hopes that his confidence will lend him to a spot on ‘Glee.’

Cameron, a 21-year-old Texas boy, is a natural musician with natural talents, and hasn’t taken any classes to hone his skills. He’s an artist in his own right, and doesn’t care who is judging him as long as he’s being himself. “When I sing or when I perform, or when I do a funky dance, I’m not technical, I’m not trained, but you know, I’m not afraid to look like a fool every now and then,” he admits, before busting out the ‘Stanky Leg.’ He adds, “I consider myself a pretty big nerd, and that’s something that I embrace whether it’s my style or my songwriting.”

In addition to his talents, Cameron has certainly honed his hipster/nerd chic style, but it’s passion that will guide him to the finish line when he competes against 11 others for a running role in ‘Glee’ Season 3 this summer. “I feel like my confidence is what gives me an edge, it’s my passion for the music,” Cameron says. “Living out loud to me is truly being yourself, just being who you are. What sets you apart when odds are against you is personality.” (source: http://popcrush.com/the-glee-project-cameron-mitchell/ )

I ♥ Tumblr.

when I feel a little bit boring, I always have nothing to do. I'm sick of television shows nowadays. So, I turned my pc on and I visited my favorite site, Tumblr. and this is mine: http://ardizza.tumblr.com (I mostly posted about Paramore and Cameron Mitchell because I'm a parawhore and I'm a nerd herd :D)
I've got lot of things that inspired me from Tumblr. I just saw a great post on Tumblr that related to me so bad. Lemme show you:

source: http://parafreak.tumblr.com/

"goodbyes are only as permanent as we make them. look into your heart, search deep inside yourself, and tell me, tell me truthfully, if you really think you can, and want, to say goodbye to me forever. do you really want to let go? or is it just because everything in you says you should? people tell you it’s unhealthy. are you hearing it enough that you’re starting to believe it? tell me you’ll ever have a love like this again. look me in the eye, and tell me truthfully that you really think it’s possible for you to ever feel this with someone else. if you can do that, I’ll leave. I’ll let you go. I won’t bother you again, you’ll never hear from me as long as you live. but if you can’t, if you’re sitting there reading this right now and you can’t even think it truthfully to yourself, then come to me. it doesn't have to be now. it doesn’t have to be soon, it can be whenever you want it to be. because I will be waiting. I will be here. if you need someone at two o’clock in the damn morning and you have nobody to call, you better damn well know that you can call me. I’ll be here, because I know that what we had was real. it’s not over, it will never be over. not a love like this."

P.S: maybe I should send this one to someone out there, he's not here anymore but he's always in my heart. I hope he'll understand :') thank you Tumblr for giving me a lot of inspirations!

Should I?

yeah, third semester will come closer, it's scared me. you know, I will meet the real psychology thingy on this semester, especially the practical work. there's a lot of practical works to do and I know it'll make me super tired. those practical works have some rules, such as: we're all should wear the white shirt, the black trousers (for boys), the long black skirt (for girls), a black pantofel shoes (for boys), and a black pantofel shoes with 3cm/5cm heels (for girls). WHAT THE F? Should I wear the heels? I swear I won't really interested with heels thingy. Heels always make my feet getting hurt. I always choose to wear sneakers. I love sneakers! I have lot of them. I love to wear Converse (high and low), Vans, Nike, etc. yeah I love'em so.

my dirty black converse (low)

maroon converse (high)

i feel so comfortable with those shoes, so the question is... Should I wear this heels? SHOULD I?

Headache

I always have a problem with my head. I always feel the pain in my head whenever I stayed outdoor on the bright day and also whenever I did something that makes me feel tired. my doctor gave me a lot of medicines and I have to take all of them whenever I felt the pain in my head. suck thing, you know. my doctor also said that I have to go to hospital to do a rontgen but I haven't gone there yet. maybe next time before my daddy goes to Papua for his work.

Gone Too Soon

hey there now
where'd you go
you left me here so unexpected
you changed my life
i hope you know
cause now i'm lost
so unprotected

in a blink of an eye
i never got to say goodbye

like a shooting star
flyin' across the room
so fast so far
you were gone too soon
you're part of me
and i'll never be
the same here without you
you were gone too soon

you were always there
and like shining light
on my darkest days
you were there to guide me

oh i miss you now
i wish you could see
just how much your memory
will always mean to me

in a blink of an eye
i never got to say goodbye

like a shooting star
flyin' across the room
so fast so far
you were gone too soon
you're part of me
and i'll never be
the same here without you
you were gone too soon

shine on! shine on!
to a better place
shine on! shine on!
will never be the same

like a shooting star
flyin' across the room
so fast so far
you were gone too soon
you're part of me
and i'll never be
the same here without you
you were gone too soon

shine on! shine on!
you were gone too soon
shine on! shine on!
you were gone too soon
shine on! shine on!
you were gone too soon

P.S: this is my favorite song and this song is related to me. that's suck.

Second Account

no, this isn't my first time to join this site. this is my second account. I just need a new place to share, I'm kinda sick with my first blogger site: http://ardizza.blogspot.com
I think that no one seems to care about this site, no one ever see this site, but I don't care, I really don't care.